


The Letter L

by parttimehuman



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: College AU, Dog Owner Liam, First Dates, Holding Hands, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Social Anxiety, Softness, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-06-10 21:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15300720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parttimehuman/pseuds/parttimehuman
Summary: Theo is an introvert, a fanfiction author and a dreamer. Liam is a mystery.They fall in love. That's all it is. What could go wrong?





	1. First Encounters

For four years of his life, Theo has kept telling himself that high school is the hardest part, and he only has to survive it, keep a low profile, stay under the radar until he can graduate with good but not too good grades, and then he’ll finally be free of the hell that was other teenagers and their social rules. He managed, even it’s always felt like holding his breath, like waiting for the storm to pass and being soaked by the rain, but he managed, and now he’s not a kid anymore. 

 

He lives on campus instead of with his parents, he studies what interests him instead of what the outmoded school system dictates, he can hang out in the park with a book without feeling judged for the amount of reading he does. He decides not to let the dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets he still buys at the grocery store count and comes to the conclusion that he’s great at adulting. He even does his own laundry, and he only shrunk his t-shirts once. 

 

Everything goes well, Theo tells his Mom not to worry before he hangs up at night and he means it. He’s excited for the next day already when he goes to bed at night, watching one or two or five episodes of his favorite show on Netflix before he drifts off and dreams of friendly encounters and new friends and maybe, finally, finding a boyfriend. 

 

It’s not that Theo is desperate or anything. He knows nineteen is not an awful age to still be a virgin, no matter how many online articles that he’s read have tried to convince him otherwise. He also doesn’t want to be with anybody just for the fun of it. It’s not about him being horny, after all. He might be, but he has the physical needs covered by himself for now. What Theo longs for is someone who knows him. 

 

He just wants to be asked how his day went and ask the same thing back. He wants to have someone else than his Mom on speed dial in his phone. He wants to take goofy pictures of stuck-out tongues and cheek kisses. He wants to start looking for the perfect birthday present at least two months in advance. He wants to hold a hand. He wants to feel a heartbeat against his palm. He wants to know what a kiss tastes like. 

 

Theo wakes up all nervous and excited on the day when classes finally start. He can’t wait to learn what great literary works he’s going to read this semester, he’s thrilled to lift his french skills above high school level at last. He sits up and grabs one of the new notepads he’s bought, flips through the empty pages and inhales the clean scent of paper. He packs far more pens into his backpack that anybody could possibly need, double checks that his water bottle isn’t leaking, stuffs his headphones in as well, gets his things ready before he gets around to himself. 

 

The water running down his body as he takes a shower is cool and refreshing as he’s always liked it, his skin atypically clear as he pushes his glasses up on his nose to take an examining look into the mirror. His hair is always a little bit messy, mainly because Theo has no idea what to do with it, so he just ruffles his hands through the light brown strands a few times and gives his reflection a smile. He’s faked that smile so many times before, his head hanging low as he’s tried to gather up the strength to drag himself to school, but this time it’s genuine.

 

_ You got this, baby bear, I love you.  _ The text from his Mom is worth a dramatic nose-exhale before Theo shoves his phone into the pocket of his jeans, grabs a banana from the small table in the middle of his dorm room and leaves for his first lecture. Introduction to modern literature.

 

Everything is new to Theo. The place, the people, the scent in the air. But the feeling that wells up and spreads in his chest, thinning the air in his lungs as he wanders the hallways of his college is old, almost as old as Theo himself. It has accompanied him for many years and no matter how often he’s prayed for it to finally leave him in peace, it simply won’t. 

 

The right lecture hall is hard enough to find, although Theo, knowing the anxious mess that he can turn into when he’s stressed, has of course familiarized himself with the route leading from his dorm to the heavy red door in preparation for this day, but his brain seems to be blank of useful information as a hundred strangers’ eyes sway over him, making his hands sweaty and his heartbeat a little too fast to be healthy. 

 

Theo doesn’t know what exactly he believes they see in him, just that it’s bad, that whatever it is, it can surely be used as an excuse to want to mock him, or stick his head into a toilet bowl, or whatever the college equivalent of those high school shenanigans is. Of course, all of this fear is ridiculous and completely uncalled for. Those things have happened once or maybe twice to him, and that was years ago, long before he’s grown into a bearded, broad-shouldered guy with the reputation to have knocked Josh Diaz out one time, which was just a rumor, by the way. 

 

Luckily, or rather with wise foresight, Theo left early enough to still make it in time, picking a seat far enough in the back not to be too visible from the lectern but close enough not to miss anything important, the one at the very end of the row, where he has good access to the emergency exits, just in case a sudden escape should ever be required. Theo has learned to be careful like that. 

 

Placing his backpack between his feet carefully, Theo pulls out a notepad and two pens, placing them on the little table in front of him, above the paper, then left of it, then right, re-arranging his things for as long as it takes until something else will happen and save him from going insane with nervousness. 

 

“Is that seat taken?” a low voice asks him. 

 

“Sure,” Theo answers dumbly, “umm, no, I mean, you can totally have it… I mean, my seat. No, the seat next to mine, of course.” 

 

The guy towering over him looks just a little too attractive, falls just a little too perfectly into what Theo believes must be his type to stay calm. The first thing he’s said to anybody at this damn college, and he’s already managed to make a fool out of himself in front of a hot guy. Awesome. 

 

“Oh really?” Hot Guy asks with a pretty smile. “I can have your seat? Because I’m kind of waiting for a friend here. Would be great if we could sit together.” 

 

“Oh.” Of course. Of course, if you’re pretty enough you have a friend with you on a day like this, and the dude blocking the seat you need to sit together doesn’t have the balls to deny you when you ask him to get up and find another place to sit. Theo isn’t even surprised, really. He takes it with the same resignation that he’s been training for all his life, swallows the bitterness down and drags his backpack over the floor to the next free spot he discovers. 

 

“May I?” he asks. 

 

A girl looks up at him with caramel-brown eyes that seem a little surprised. She stares up at him for a second, then shuffles a little to the left and smiles awkwardly. “Sorry,” she says, “of course.” 

 

Theo slumps down and sighs. He doesn’t bother putting his stuff onto the table as neatly as before. Less than half an hour in, and his social battery is running low already. His body begs him to bring it somewhere safe, to let it rest and recharge all alone, but there are so many hours left during which Theo has to pull himself together. 

 

“Thanks,” he mumbles, because if the girl had denied him, he might have actually killed himself. “I’m Theo.” 

 

“Malia,” she replies with a nod, her eyes directed to the front instead of him. Something about her brings a light smile to his lips, even if it’s barely visible, but he can feel it, and it lets him breathe a little more freely again. 

 

They don’t talk. At the end of the day, the only things Theo knows about Malia are the color of her hair that falls into her face all the time and the mess that seems to be her handwriting. Somehow, he’s cool with that. Something tells him she will be sitting at the same spot the next day. He’s met a person who didn’t look like she wanted to eat him, so that’s a win. 

 

All in all, Theo can’t complain about this first day. It’s not going like in his dreams so far, but it’s not a complete nightmare either. Still, he needs a nap and some ice-cream before he’s ready to attend the party that night that’s being held at the other end of campus as a welcome to all the new students. Not that Theo wants to go, but he feels like if he doesn’t, he might as well give up this whole college thing. At least he can always count on a little alcohol to help him. Tipsy Theo might not be any less socially awkward than sober Theo, but he cares so much less about it, it’s truly wonderful. 

 

Theo goes with a black t-shirt that hopefully makes him look a little more like what’s underneath it are muscles and his favorite jean jacket. He contemplates the back snapback and then decides that it can’t hurt to hide the monster that is his hair today. His jeans feel a little too tight around his thighs, but the whole situation is uncomfortable anyway, so he might as well keep them on. He pushes his glasses up with one finger like he so often does and turns away to leave his room before he can think better of it. Who knows what might happen. 

 

What he definitely hasn’t expected was the sheer number of people present at the party. Someone presses a plastic cup in his hand that he exchanges for a bottle of beer he can open himself, not that anybody’s desperate enough to drug him of all the people around. The music is too loud, each of the rooms too full, the air too thin and reeking of human sweat and vomit. (Seriously? Already? Some people honestly have to get their shit together.) A highly uncomfortable prickle crawls all over Theo’s skin, but he tries to ignore it, simply makes his way through the crowd and takes a sip every now and then, looking around and seeing nothing, all of the faces looking different, and yet, all the same.

 

“Oooo hey,” a very petite blonde girl slurs as she wraps her skinny fingers around Theo’s upper arms. He fingernails look like claws. “Look at that,” she murmurs, squeezing his biceps, “I like a big boy. You came here alone?” 

 

Just when Theo is thinking about the best answer to get rid of her, (he doesn’t want to push her, he’s actually afraid that she might break), she lunges forward. All he can do is turn his head so that it’s only his cheek that she smears her lipstick all over. He’s never felt as gay as he does in this moment. 

 

“Sorry,” he presses out as he tries to be gentle while placing her a few inches further away, “not my type.” A disappointed pout appears on the girl’s drunk face, but it’s gone just as fast when she spots who seems to be her next victim. What feels like disgust at first as Theo watches them probably really is some really sick and twisted kind of jealousy. He’s jealous because she’s putting herself out there, trying to get what she wants and not backing down just because of one failed attempt. Because she doesn’t care about the guys who don’t want her, she’s busy with those who do. Her tactics might me questionable, but success proves her right. 

 

Meanwhile, Theo realizes that he better stop staring. He needs some fresh air, maybe he can even find something acceptable to eat, or a person to talk to who isn’t attached to another person’s face or their own puke. You may call him a dreamer. 

 

“Theeeeeeeeeeeooooo,” he hears as soon as he’s set foot to the terrace outside, but he doesn’t recognize the voice at first, and neither the mop of dark-blonde hair hanging in front of the girl’s face. But it’s hard to focus on Malia anyway, because what seems to be the only thing - or the only one - holding her upright in that moment is the single most beautiful person Theo has ever seen, even when the boy’s lips are pursed grimly, his jaw set, his eyes a little dark. 

 

The guy is shorter than Malia, but he looks strong. The clean white shirt he’s wearing displays the muscles of his shoulders perfectly. His hair is brown, short at the sides and longer at the front, styled to stand up high on top of his head. His ears are pierced and his fingernails painted in a dark green, the stubble covering his face looks like something Theo would want to lick.

 

“Oh, great, you know her?” he asks Theo. “You take care of her then.” And with that he maneuvers Malia into Theo’s shaking arms. 

 

Fuck, the guy is wearing eyeliner, as Theo realizes. The thin black line surrounding his eyes only brings out the piercing blue more perfectly. Theo would faint, but Malia is in no state to help him right now, so he keeps his weak legs steady. 

 

“I… no,” Theo stutters once again, “I don’t know her. I don’t know where to bring her. I don’t even have a car.” 

 

He can’t stop looking at the perfection that is the other boy’s face. Not even when said face makes a really really annoyed expression. 

 

“Dude,” the guy sighs, “I don’t even go here. I just brought the food to this apparently really great party.” He nods at Malia who is half conscious at best in Theo’s arms. 

 

Theo looks at him. He doesn’t know what he’s searching for in the endless blue of his eyes. It’s silent for a minute. They stare. They shouldn’t stare so long. Theo should look away, but he’s frozen. What can he do? 

 

“Fine,” Food Dude replies, “I have a truck right around the corner.” He turns away before he turns back around, a smile dancing on his lips this time. It’s like the sun rises just before midnight. “I’m Liam, by the way.” 


	2. Small Talk

_ Liam.  _

 

His name is Liam. The boy is still talking as Theo follows him across the terrace and a lawn that might have seen one or two drunk college students so far on that night, around a corner and over to the truck with the logo of a local catering service on its side that Liam stops by. He’s looking at Theo strictly as he points out that it will be entirely Theo’s responsibility to clean up everything Malia could potentially throw up inside the vehicle, but all Theo can see is the blue of his eyes, and all he can hear is the pretty boy’s name echoing through his head. 

 

“Dude, are you sure you’re not drunk yourself?” Liam asks with his head tilted to the side, eyeing Theo suspiciously. 

 

“No!” Theo exclaims, maybe a little too vehemently. “Yes. I’m sure. Haven’t had one drink tonight. Actually, I pretty much just came here.” 

 

Liam opens the door at the passenger’s side and gestures for Theo to get Malia inside. She groans as he picks her up and puts her into the middle one of three seats in the front. 

 

“Oh no no,” Liam shakes his head disapprovingly, “she sits at the window.” 

 

Admittedly, he has a point there, but as Liam climbs behind the steering wheel to wait and Theo is left alone to maneuver himself inside the truck and over Malia and then her into the seat right to him, he silently curses Liam for making him move so awkwardly in the small space of the vehicle, wondering just how big his ass looks in that moment, or whether the attempt to hide his love handles from the world has finally failed completely. 

 

It’s weird. Theo would be convinced that he just met the man of his dreams, if not for the sheer awkwardness of the whole situation. Liam offered to get Malia home, yes, but he didn’t sound too hyped about it, and then there’s still the tiny little difficulty that Theo has no idea where she lives. See, in novels, there’s always this magic moment where the two that are meant for each other meet, where sparks fly and the world spins in slow-motion for a while. 

 

Theo knows it’s stupid to believe in that stuff, and he really doesn’t need his own life to be  _ that  _ sappy, but the current reality is so fucking far away from a cute first encounter that it hurts. Liam starts the engine with yet another mumbled threat, Malia is drooling on Theo’s shirt, and Theo is sitting in the middle, trying to make his damn shoulders a little less prominent, not wanting to take up all the space in a stranger’s car when said stranger was quite hesitant to give them a ride to begin with. 

 

The first two minutes are spent finding out Malia’s address, and Theo sighs with relief when Liam announces that he knows where that street is, but then it turns silent between them, and frankly, Theo’s anxiety level shoots through the roof. 

 

I doesn’t really make sense for a guy who needs as much alone time and quiet as Theo does, but he hates it when nobody talks. Hate isn’t even the correct word, it makes him restless, makes him afraid, sends his brain spiraling with all the possible reasons the other people present don’t like talking to him. Is he looking stupid? Did Liam have an awful first impression of him? Doesn’t he seem interesting? Or worse, does he maybe not seem interested? 

 

Theo can’t stand it. He’s all antsy, a part of him wishing he could just jump out of the car. He wouldn’t even ask Liam to stop for him, he’d just disappear, choosing misery on his own over misery around others any time. He doesn’t dare look at Liam, but he doesn’t really have to look anywhere other than straight ahead to catch the other boy’s hand in the corner of his eye. 

 

He has to take a closer look. It’s just his thing, always taking note of people’s hands. He pays as much attention to hands as he does to faces. Really, it only makes sense, considering that the hands are the part of a person most likely to touch you at some point, and apart from that, hands say a lot. 

 

Liam’s hands for example are big and strong, the skin stretching over the knuckles and blue veins pale, the fingers long and graceful, the nails short and clean. They look soft and careful, they add a whole other side to the Liam presented by his firmly set jaw. They look like they know what they do as Liam drives, look like a firm handshake and quick, skilled work. Theo wants to touch them, wants to take the one resting on the gearshift in his own and feel the warmth of its palm, wants to rub his thumb over the back and intertwine their fingers. 

 

For some reason, he feels more guilty for these kind of thoughts than he does when he imagines someone naked. Because what he’s dreaming of in that moment in Liam’s truck is a whole other form of intimacy. 

 

“College, huh?” Liam finally begins. “What do you study?” 

 

Theo silently thanks all the gods he doesn’t believe in and Liam for speaking. 

 

“Modern literature,” Theo answers proudly, “and French.” 

 

“Oh là là,” Liam responds with a smile, “français, huh?” 

 

“La plus belle langue de tout le monde,” Theo replies, “one day I’m going to be able to just speak it and sound as incredible as French people do.” He can’t help it, okay? He’s a nerd. 

 

“You should call me then,” Liam smirks, “I think I’d like to hear you speaking the most beautiful language in the whole world.” 

 

Just one sentence, and Theo is completely thrown off. First of all, Liam understood him. Secondly, that smirk on his face is absolutely to die for. Also, is Liam fucking flirting with him? Or is that just wishful thinking? Or maybe not? What’s up with the calling him? Does Liam really want Theo to call him sometime? Oh God, is he going to give Theo his number? Is it really happening? 

 

Theo wills his breathing and heartbeat calm, rubs his sweaty palms against his jeans before he answers, trying his best to sound nonchalantly and most likely failing. 

 

“Do you read a lot?” he wants to know. It’s usually a good question, one that leads to a nice conversation about a person’s favorite book or author, possibly to recommendations for works Theo’s doesn’t know yet. Yeah, it’s a nice, harmless question. He’s not that bad at small talk after all, he’s got this. 

 

“Not at all, actually,” Liam shrugs. 

 

He hasn’t got this. 

 

“Okay, um, but you speak French, as it seems?” No unexpected answer is irrelevant enough not to dishearten Theo completely, but he’s not yet ready to give up. He would, but he’s still trapped inside a truck, and apart from that, Liam is still the most perfectly looking person under the sun. Theo gathers up the courage to watch him through the mirror. Given his track record, it’s very likely that he’ll never see Liam again, so why not burn every detail of his angelic face into his memory first? 

 

“Not really,” Liam shakes his head again. “I understand more than I can actually say. I work at the history museum, so I know one or two things from what I learned about history.” 

 

“Oh,” Theo makes a stupidly surprised noise. So Liam does have interests he’s willing to share with him. “So are you one of those people giving tours and explaining stuff?” 

 

He’s very much contemplating a visit at the museum in the near future. The thought of hearing Liam talking about something he’s passionate about excites him. 

 

“No,” Liam says again, “I work in the museum’s restaurant’s kitchen. I’m one of those people cleaning up your dishes.” 

 

Another dumbfounded “Oh.” leaves Theo’s lips. He doesn't know how to reply to that. Somehow, he feels like he’s been asking all the wrong questions so far. Silence settles over them again. Honestly, is it supposed to be this awkward when you meet your soulmate? 

 

Theo takes another look. He just can’t keep his eyes away. Their conversation doesn’t exactly suggest that they’re made for each other, but damnit, Liam looks so pretty. The white shirt almost glows in the darkness of the night, and he’s chewing on his lip as he’s driving, which is entirely unfair to Theo, seriously. Full, pink lips and all his attention being drawn to them, and then the beard stubble, and the hair that looks a little messy, but like it’s supposed to do exactly that, and then those eyes. Those damn eyes and the thin black line surrounding them, making the blue so intense that Theo finds it hard to breathe. 

 

“Malia,” Theo complains, leaning away from her as something wet touches his neck. He was fine with coming to that stupid party only to leave five minutes later and bring his drunk acquaintance from the first day home. He was fine with taking responsibility for her slack body and any potential puke. He was fine with her face on his shoulder and make-up stains on his shirt. But he’s not exactly a very touchy person, and he doesn’t think he’s ever had his neck licked by anybody. 

 

“What’s she doing? Please tell me she’s not throwing up,” Liam whines. 

 

Theo looks out of the window at Liam’s side with a tortured expression on his face. “No,” he presses out, “I think it’s her tongue.” Great, because the ride home wasn’t strange enough already. 

 

“Oh,” Liam laughs, “that’s not your friend.” 

 

Theo doesn’t even have the time to get his features to look confused. How many tongues are currently present in the truck. 

 

“Curly Sue,” Liam calls strictly, “stop it. Sit. Good girl.” 

 

“Wh- what?” Theo stutters. Is he missing something? 

 

Liam sighs. “Meet my dog. Theo, this is Curly Sue, Suesy, this is Theo. And he’s even brought his dog as well.” 

 

“Shut up,” Theo huffs, “leave Malia out of this.” 

 

A wet little snout suddenly peeks up between Liam’s and Theo’s head, nudging Theo’s shoulder until he turns his head to look into the big, beautiful brown eyes of a golden-retriever. “Oh my God!” Theo exclaims. It’s not his fault that he turns into a five-year-old everytime he sees a dog, he just loves them so much. “She’s gorgeous!” The dog lady seems very content when he starts scratching her head. 

 

“I know,” Liam mumbles, the corner of his mouth perked up in a proud little smile. “The only woman in my life forever, right Suesy?” 

 

The whole situation makes Theo’s heart swell so much, the softness that Liam suddenly shows towards his dog, and the fact that he doesn’t mind for Theo to witness it. It makes Theo so weak for both the dog and the boy that he almost doesn’t realize that Liam may have just given him the hint that he’s gay. 

 

“Wow,” Theo says, the dog’s soft and shiny fur tickling his fingertips, “and you take her with you while you work?” 

 

“Not usually,” Liam explains. “Oh God, please don’t tell this anybody. I deliver food in this truck. Pretty sure that violates several health regulations. You didn’t see her in here, okay?” 

 

“No, no, of course not,” Theo promises. He doesn’t come across as someone who’d rat out Liam for taking his dog with him, does he? Fuck, what if he does?

 

“It’s just that she isn’t used to being alone, you know,” Liam elaborates, “and she doesn’t like it. Mason’s home to take care of her most of the time when I’m at work, but not today, and I couldn’t leave her there all by herself. Obviously, I was going to, but then she looked so sadly when I left, and I’m really really weak for those puppy eyes.” 

 

Well, Theo certainly won’t hold that against him. One look into the mirror and he realizes he’s just as weak as Liam claims to be. 

 

And then it hits him. Just when Liam pulls up in front of what has to be the house Malia lives in, it hits Theo right in the face like a brick. 

 

_ Mason’s home to take care of her.  _

 

_ Mason.  _

 

There’s a boyfriend. Of course there’s a boyfriend. What did Theo expect? A guy looking like Liam? In what universe would he not have a boyfriend worshipping the ground on which he walked. And not just that, apparently they lived together. They shared a dog. A dog! They were basically a family! 

 

“So, um, are you going to bring her to the door or should I just let her tumble out on the street before I bring you home as well?” Liam asks. Only then does Theo realize they’ve been standing in the driveway for a minute. 

 

“Oh yeah, sure, hold on, I’m going to…” Inexplicably, the task to get Malia out of the truck in one piece is even more difficult than getting her in, especially since Theo can feel Liam’s eyes in his back as he moves, making him incredibly self-conscious. Not everybody can rock nail-polish and eyeliner and look like it’s the most logical thing to wear for a handsome guy, okay? 

 

“Thank you Tttttthhhhhhheo,” Malia slurs into his ear, very much too closely, but he tells himself that he’s almost got her safely at home as he takes the keys from her and unlocks the front door. 

 

“You’re awesome,” she says before she disappears inside with a smile, although he wonders what exactly about the one lecture they spent sitting next to each other quietly and the half-conscious car-drive home she could possibly find awesome. She’ll probably have a different view on things in the morning. 

 

“Good night,” he says, although the door is already closed, but maybe it’s because he dreads turning back around a little, unsure of what exactly he’s doing in the food truck of a beautiful stranger with a boyfriend and a dog. 

 

“Where to next?” Liam asks, disrupting Theo’s train of thought as he settles into the seat at the window, leaving the one in the middle empty, the one in which your shoulder will inevitably touch that of the driver. 

 

“Um, I live on campus,” Theo tells him quietly. Liam gets back on the street and on the way, Curly Sue retreats to the back of the truck. 

 

Somehow it feels like they’re done. Theo doesn’t want it, he doesn’t want to leave and possibly never see Liam again. It doesn’t feel like there should be an end to this, even if it’s all cringy and weird. But Malia is home, and that’s pretty much everything they got into the car together for in the first place, and with Liam absolutely not available, what is there to do anyway? 

 

Theo sighs. Of course it would go this way. It’s just his luck. He’s just a dreamer, his mind so lost in all the romances he’s read that he always gets his hopes up in real life as well. As if a guy like Liam would ever be attainable for someone like him. In the end, it probably isn’t even about the boyfriend. It’s just that Theo is a boring, lonely nerd, just a little too socially awkward and a little too chubby and a little too much himself to even be seen as an option. 

 

It’s fine though, Theo tells himself as he jumps out of the truck and says goodbye, not looking back too long, saving himself the sting he knows Liam’s smile will leave in his heart. 

 

“Bye, Theo,” Liam says before he drives off. 

 

Bye, Liam, Theo thinks to himself. 

 

And this is how it goes. How it’s always been. A boy can dream, yes, but if a boy is stupid enough to believe his dreams have any chance to come true, then a boy is in for a huge disappointment. 

 

Theo only wants to fall in his bed and sleep until he forgets Liam, although he knows it won’t be that easy. It’ll take him weeks of sleepless nights. 

 

He kicks away his shoes and shrugs out of his jacket, for once not caring about putting them away tidily. Because he doesn’t bother turning on the lights, he almost doesn’t see the little piece of paper landing on the floor. 

 

He only notices when he returns back from the bathroom after brushing his teeth. 

 

A part of him says that it can wait until tomorrow. 

 

A part urges him to take a look immediately. 

 

Theo hesitates, but picks the paper up and unfolds it. 

 

The handwriting is so chaotic that it takes him a moment to realize what he’s looking at. 

 

A number. 

 

A phone number. 

 

Holy shit. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading! Tell me what you think, I'm really excited for this story!


	3. Shut Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Francis, who I told yesterday that I didn't plan to continue this story anytime soon. Thank you for changing my mind!

Theo dreams himself into the middle of a seemingly endless flower field. It’s summer, the sun is kissing the skin on his face softly, a mild breeze of warm air caresses his bare arms. He turns around to look into every direction, grass tickling his legs. There’s nothing to be seen except a green ocean of grass and countless colorful flowers swimming on its surface. For a solid minute, Theo believes the strangest thing about his dream is that he’s wearing shorts. He never wears shorts. He simply can’t stand the thought of people seeing his pale, hairy calves and the way they wobble when he walks. 

 

Dream-Theo doesn’t care, though. He’s busy looking for something. He has one hand raised to his forehead to shield his eyes from the blinding sun as he continues turning slowly, his attention focused on his surroundings. He’s waiting for something, but he doesn’t see it coming. He gets attacked from behind. 

 

A huge animal jumps into his back and pushes him over. He shrieks and stumbles into the grass, rolling around to lie on his back, the furry monster standing above him with glistening, dark eyes, leaning down over his face. The dog licks his cheek. 

 

Theo laughs and squirms away. “Enough with the kisses, Suesy,” he giggles, sitting up, bringing a hand up to her neck where he knows she likes to be scratched. She’s a big girl, even now that he’s sitting upright reaching at eye level with him, but she’s an absolute softie, leaning into his touch, pressing her big brown eyes shut.

 

“What about me though?” A deep voice asks jokingly. 

 

Theo looks up from his new found, hairy best friend and sees Liam approaching him. If the sun is at its warmest and most beautiful that day, then it still pales in comparison with the smile on his handsome face. His eyes twinkle like sapphires. Theo says nothing for a moment, just sits and stares and drinks in Liam’s beauty. The light brown hair on the boy’s head has been lightened by the summer sun, his bare arms show a nice tan, the usual bit of eyeliner around his eyes is a bit smudged, but Theo thinks that makes it look even prettier. 

 

“There’s no such thing as enough kisses from you,” Theo finally tells him. 

 

Liam’s smile turns into a satisfied grin just as he reaches him and lets himself fall into the grass so closely next to Theo that their arms are touching. The electric warmth Theo feels isn’t coming from the sunbathed skin alone, there’s a certain tension sizzling between them, making sparks fly whenever they touch. 

 

Liam takes Theo’s hand in his own and intertwines their fingers. With the other hand, he starts writing invisible letters on the skin on Theo’s arm.  _ H E Y,  _ he spells. 

 

“Hey,” Theo answers. 

 

Liam smiles and brings his fingertip to Theo’s wrist again.  _ I L I K E Y O U,  _ he writes next. Theo’s skin begins to tingle beneath Liam’s touches. He’s glad they’re on their own far outside of town, with nobody around. Technically, what they’re doing so far is very much innocent, but emotionally, it doesn’t feel that way at all. It feels intimate. 

 

“I like you too,” Theo whispers. 

 

Again, Liam remains silent and smiles. He runs his flat palm down Theo’s forearm as if to erase the words he just wrote before he starts again. 

 

_ K I S S M E ?  _

 

Theo doesn’t respond with words this time, he leans in and cups Liam’s face with his free hand, rubbing his thumb over his stubbly jaw. He looks into deep, endless blue for an intense moment. They’re both grinning like idiots, because they both know it’s about to happen, and there’s no way either of them can pull back now. They’re basking in the sweet certainty of their kiss before they’re ready to actually do it, breathing each other in, being close, being brave. Theo only has to tilt his head slightly to feel his lips brush against- 

 

“Theo!” Malia whisper-shouts into his ear a bit too aggressively considering what unholy time in the morning it is. Someone decided to schedule a lecture at eight in the damn morning after the welcome-to-our-wonderful-college-party, which has Theo genuinely wondering how welcome exactly they want him to feel. Usually, he’s far too anxious to close his eyes in a public place like a lecture hall, but he’s gotten close to zero sleep during the night, and his body doesn’t do well on sleep deprivation. 

 

“Yes,” Theo mumbles, “I’m here. I’m awake. Totally awake. Can’t wait to hear what we’ll read first in this course.” His words might be slightly slurred. 

 

Malia looks down at where Theo’s still resting his head on his folded arms on his desk, raising an amused eyebrow at him. “We’re reading Sartre, sleepyhead,” she informs him. “Isn’t that fitting after that party last night? You know ‘Huis Clos’, right?” 

 

“Of course, ‘Hell is other people’,” Theo responds. 

 

“If you ask me, there’s kind of a perfect metaphor in that,” Malia comments, “for college, you know. Because it could be so much fun if it was all about the learning things. But no, of course, there have to be other people everywhere spoiling it.” 

 

Theo chuckles. “Didn’t look like people were spoiling your fun last night,” he remarks. 

 

“Shut up,” she growls at him, turning her attention towards the front, where their professor is about to start the lecture. She definitely has a bit of a smile on her lips, although she’s apparently trying to hide it.

 

In a strange way, it satisfies Theo. He isn’t exactly good at making friends, and that’s definitely the one big thing he’s been worried sick about before college started, once again being left out due to his utter incapability to socialize. He isn’t sure how exactly the thing with Malia happened, or what made her decide that she’d stick to him, but the way she half grumpily, half smilingly tells him to shut up has something to it that reassures him. If Theo’s being honest, he doesn’t even want a lot of friends. He’s just scared of being entirely on his own, so having Malia at his side is kind of the best outcome he could have wished for, and it’s only his second day. 

 

Now he only has to figure out how to pay attention to a presentation about French philosophy of the 20th century without his mind drifting off to flower fields and fluffy dogs and gorgeous boys he wants to kiss all the time. Now he only has to find a way for Liam to not occupy his mind at absolutely all times. It’s not like there’s any point in fantasizing about him.

 

A part of Theo wishes he hadn’t found the phone number. An even bigger part of him wishes Liam hadn’t given it to him in the first place. Frankly, it was unfair. Cruel, even. 

 

Because Liam is hot like fire. Irresistible. And Theo is weak. An easy target. Of course he’d be into Liam. The beautiful face and the god-like body, the hair and the tattoos shining through the clean white shirt. The nail polish and the eyeliner and the punk rock daddy style hair. How is Theo supposed to stand a chance against all that? Now he even has a phone number. How on earth is he supposed to not call it? 

 

“By the way,” Malia says a little bit later, “sorry for interrupting your hookup last night.” 

 

“What?” Theo asks. 

 

“You and that dude? You know, the sexy dude. With the pretty eyes.” 

 

Theo sighs. “You didn’t interrupt anything. Actually, you found him first. He was with you when I came outside. Jesus, do you remember anything from last night?” 

 

“Yeah,” Malia nods, “the pretty dude.” 

 

“Don’t bother,” Theo tells her quietly, “he’s got a boyfriend anyway.” And a dog. The cutest dog Theo has ever had the honor to pet. 

 

“And I have a pretty big thing for girls,” Malia informs him, “but that’s besides the point right now. Are you sure he’s not available? Because I might have been slightly tipsy, but that dude so checked you out. You do realize he only drove me home because of you?” 

 

“Slightly tipsy?” Theo repeats. “Seriously. Well, if you think you were slightly tipsy last night, then it doesn’t matter what you think he wanted from me, because then you’re obviously completely out of touch with reality.” 

 

Malia shrugs. “You can call me out all you want, Theo. You want to hear me saying that I was drunk? That I misjudged my limits drinking-wise a little? Fine. I lost control there, alright? But I still stand by what I just said about that guy. He wanted to dump me somewhere before you came along, and suddenly he could talk. He totally wanted you. I know it for sure.” 

 

“Do you want to know what happened on the way to your place?” Theo asks. If Malia needs to hear it before she’ll leave him alone about this, then fine, he’ll tell her. 

 

“Please,” she answers, “enlighten me.” 

 

“I got to meet his dog,” Theo explains. “His dog that he had with him in the food truck. Which he usually doesn’t do because usually, his boyfriend, whose name is Mason by the way, takes care of her. You hear that? He’s in a relationship that’s serious enough for the two of them to have a dog together.” 

 

“Aww, he’s got a puppy,” Malia smiles, “marry him. Marry him immediately.” 

 

“You missed the point there, Malia,” Theo sighs, “big time.” 

 

“Mason’s his boyfriend, huh?” She asks, now a little calmer. 

 

“Well, he didn’t use that term when he mentioned his name, but it’s the only thing that makes sense, right?” Theo asks. “I mean, who else would be looking after his dog on a daily basis.” 

 

Malia’s jaw drops. “Are you serious right now? Wow. Theo, really? Just- just wow. This is such a classic. I can’t with you.” 

 

“What?” Theo wants to know. Does she really have to make him feel any more like an idiot? 

 

“I can tell you who else would be looking after his dog on a daily basis,” Malia says simply. “Actually, I can give you a list of several perfectly plausible people. Starting with a brother, or a roommate, or a friend, or a neighbor. Ever considered any of these options? Ever considered asking him if he’s taken?” 

 

“Okay, who’s being ridiculous now?” Theo shoots back. “I think we both know I have  _ not.  _ Single or not, have you seen that guy? Does he look anything like a dude who’d be interested in-” Theo looks down at himself and makes a vague gesture. “-this?” 

 

“I seriously don’t know how you expect me to answer that question,” Malia says. “Why wouldn’t he be interested in you?” 

 

At first, Theo thinks she’s messing with him, which is really mean. He’s vulnerable enough as it is, she doesn’t need to make it any worse. But the look on Malia’s face tells him she’s genuinely waiting for a response, and that’s when Theo truly begins laughing. It sounds bitter, but still not as bitter as he feels about it on the inside. 

 

“Because he’s literally perfect,” Theo replies. “If I were to bake me a man, it’d be him, okay? He looks fantastic, and he has a dog. A dog! I bet he has a line of dudes standing on front of his door waiting for their turn on him. I bet he can have them all. So even if he  _ was  _ single, which I still don’t believe he is, but even if, I’m sure there would still be a few thousand people he’d go out with before he’d even consider me as an option.” 

 

“I don’t get it,” Malia mutters. “How did you make it to college if you’re this stupid?” 

 

“Excuse me?” 

 

“Grow up, Theo,” Malia says, speaking with a little more force in her voice than necessary, but something about that makes him listen up. “You have a problem with yourself? We all do. Nobody wakes up in the morning thinking how fucking great they are. That’s life. But you don’t get to choose what other people think of you. Just because there’s things you don’t like about yourself doesn’t mean he won’t. Who are you to think you know the type of person he’s into? Maybe, if he were to bake himself a man, it’d be you. I’m sorry, but you don’t get to decide that it wouldn’t.” 

 

Theo’s left speechless. He stares ahead and crosses his arms in front of his chest. He hates that feeling when realization slowly creeps into his mind, when he begins understanding that he was wrong. He hates having to admit that to himself, and he hates that Malia is right there next to him in that moment as it’s happening, his cheeks blushing because he’s ashamed, his head spinning, because what does this mean? 

 

For a few minutes, there’s nothing but silence between them. Theo is quietly thankful for Malia not saying anything more. He’s got the message. He just needs a bit to process it, to be able to respond to it appropriately. 

 

“Is this a good moment to tell you that I found this in my pocket last night?” Theo asks, pulling the little piece of paper out, placing it on the desk between them. 

 

He didn’t mean to mention it, especially not since he’s successfully convinced himself that there’s no point in calling, but now he’s not sure about anything anymore. 

 

Malia grabs it and unfolds the paper. Her satisfied smile turns into a dropped jaw, an expression of shock on her face. “Theo, you damn idiot!” She almost yells at him. “Could you maybe have said this a little earlier? He gave you his number? And you’re telling me you thought he wasn’t interested in you? How the fuck are you even real?”

 

Theo snaps the little paper out of her hands, afraid that in all of her excitement, she’s going to rip it in half. He tugs it back into the pocket of his jeans where it will be safe, although no need to be kidding himself, he long knows the number by heart. Honestly, Malia has a point. A very, very good point, actually. 

 

“You think I should call him?” Theo asks shyly, his palms getting sweaty from the thought alone. A part of him wants to, but he knows he’ll only make it if the anxiety doesn’t kill him first. 

 

“I think you should have his children,” Malia laughs, “but yeah, fine, let’s start with a call.” 

 

“Shut up,” Theo smiles back. He’s feeling a little bit pressured, and a whole lot nervous, but apart from that, Malia’s excitement makes him happy. She wants this for him, and it has nothing to do with a prank or letting him walk into a trap. She wants him to be happy. Maybe she’s also a little bit after a new dog friend, but who can blame her? 

 

For the rest of his lectures that day, Theo tries to will his heart calm, but it’s not entirely working. He can’t stop his mind from spiraling. There are so many things that could go wrong, that could embarrass him. Then there are a whole lot of things that could go right, and those are maybe even scarier. 

 

“Remind me,” Theo says to Malia after their last course for the day has ended, “what is the appropriate amount of time you wait before you call someone who gave you their number?” 

 

“Zero minutes and zero seconds,” Malia answers without hesitation. 

 

Theo sighs deeply. “Really?” he asks. “Because I don’t want to-” 

 

“Give me your phone,” Malia says, stopping dead in her tracks in the middle of the hallway. 

 

“Why?” Theo wants to know, pulling the device out of his pocket. 

 

“Need to call someone,” Malia mumbles as she takes it, but it doesn’t look like she’s dialling a number. “Ha!” She exclaims triumphantly about twenty seconds later. “I knew you’d have his number saved already!” 

 

“What?” Theo asks dumbly. “Malia, what are you doing? No! Stop! Give me my phone back!” 

 

“Here,” she says with a grin, holding it out to him.

 

The connection is already being made and Theo has no time to tell her how much he hates her for this as he takes his phone back with trembling hands, pressing it against his ear just in time to hear Liam answer the call with a “Hello?” 


	4. For the Sake of Curly Sue

“Hello?” The voice at the other end of the line repeats itself. It sounds low and a little sleepy. Hot. 

 

Theo panics. That was definitely one hello too much, which means he’s fucked up even before saying a single word. Of course. Classic Theo. Why does he even bother still being disappointed in himself? 

 

Lowering the hand with the phone in it, Theo turns around a little. He might as well just give up. Was he really thinking until ten seconds ago that he could actually have a chance with Liam? How ridiculous. 

 

He listens to Liam breathing out one last time before he brings his thumb to the phone screen to end the call. Malia surges forward to catch his arm and stop him, but she’s too late, Theo has already hung up on Liam. 

 

“What the fuck?!” She complains, hands stemmed against her waist. “What was that?” 

 

Theo sighs. What are the simplest words to sum up the tragedy that is his social skills to explain to Malia why there is no point in trying? 

 

“I can’t do it,” Theo presses out. He feels ashamed of his failure and the fact that Malia is there to witness it all. It shouldn’t be too much to ask of a nineteen-year-old to make one phone call, but to Theo, it seems like the most difficult task in the world, and then it’s not just a phone call, it’s Liam he’s calling, and Liam is everything. 

 

Slowly, Malia’s scowl fades, her features softening. She reaches out one hand and puts it on Theo’s shoulder, making him realize that he’s indeed shaking. “Hey,” she mutters, turning away from the people streaming down the hallway. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I didn’t leave it up to you. I wasn’t thinking. Are you okay?” 

 

He isn’t. He wants to bolt, afraid that tears will find their way down his cheeks in just another second, because not even the easiest things in life work for him, and it’s embarrassing and unfair.

 

“How about I buy you a cake in the cafeteria?” She offers, carefully patting his back. It’s like there’s an invisible curtain between them, dampening her voice, and Theo only realizes that the curtain has once again been in his mind as they’re walking ahead, the anxiety slowly fading away, reality becoming clearer around him again.

 

“I get it, you know,” Malia tells him as they sit and eat chocolate cake. Theo feels bad, because he sure as hell doesn’t need to gain even more weight, but the shock still has a hold of him, and he kind of needs it. 

 

“I have social anxiety too,” Malia continues speaking. “Used to freak out whenever people were looking me in the eyes. It always felt like they were looking for something, and I had no control over what they found. Of course, it didn’t help much to just never make eye-contact again. I still suck at it, but not as badly I guess.” 

 

“I’m sorry,” Theo mumbles. He feels a little stupid, because while he’s figured Malia isn’t exactly a total extrovert, he’s never considered comparing her struggles to his own, although it almost sounds like they do have quite some things in common. 

 

“What’s your trigger?” She wants to know, stuffing her mouth with another load of cake. 

 

It’s strange to hear her talking about it as if it’s a perfectly normal topic to be discussed, and it makes him feel a little sick. At the same time, he knows that his discomfort has to do with the fact that he’s always buried his issues deep down inside of himself, convinced that he was doomed to deal with them on his own, and that maybe they wouldn’t be as bad if he’d talked about them with anybody before. 

 

“Everything,” Theo answers at first, because he doesn’t think he can pinpoint it. He thinks of people and crowds and camera flashes, of giving speeches and presentations and mandatory dance lessons, of birthday parties and first days and changes, of unfamiliar faces and narrow spaces. A highly unpleasant shudder goes through him. 

 

“Silence,” he then decides. “I think it’s silence. When I’m in a room with at least one other person and it’s quiet, I count the seconds until someone finally speaks. I wonder how many seconds are too many. I wonder if the other persons around find it awkward. If they find  _ me  _ awkward. I tell myself I have to speak up or I’ll be a weirdo, but the pressure is too high. I don’t know what to say. I’m scared of saying something wrong, or sounding stupid. I’m scared others can tell how unsure I am. And then the seconds keep passing, and my anxiety shoots through the roof, but the longer I wait, the harder it gets to make words come out of my mouth.” 

 

Malia nods. “You’re a cool guy, Theo.” 

 

Theo laughs. “Thanks for the joke,” he replies. 

 

“You think people with social anxiety can’t be cool? Well, I have news for you. Liam thinks you’re cool.” 

 

It’s nice that his new friend is trying to make him laugh, really, and Theo appreciates the hell out of it, but the mention of Liam’s name is like salt in a fresh wound. He winces. 

 

“I’m not kidding,” Malia says seriously, pointing her finger at Theo’s phone lying on the table at his other side, almost forgotten. Only then does he realize that the screen is showing Liam’s name. It’s ringing. Liam is calling him back. 

 

“Your chance to not be silent.” And with those words, Malia gets up and turns away, leaving him alone this time, alone with his phone and his sweaty palms and his racing heart, completely overwhelmed.

 

Theo doesn’t manage to take the call. His nerves are getting in the way, once again ruining his life. In case he should ever be lucky enough to be called by a guy as hot as Liam, Theo tells himself, he’ll be smarter. He’ll make a goddamn effort. 

 

Liam proves himself persistent and calls again four minutes later, not that Theo has been counting or anything. The anxiety is in no way gone, but Theo convinces himself that the universe is giving him one final chance, and although he doesn’t believe in the universe deciding people’s fate, it’s enough to trick himself into accepting the call, even if he’s trembling as he presses the phone against his ear. 

 

“Playing hard to get?” Liam asks before Theo can even say anything. The words sound like an accusation, but the tone is bemused, playful. It’s ironic, kind of, considering that Theo would literally be so damn easy to get if only Liam wanted him. 

 

“No,” Theo replies, his voice croaky, and frankly, pathetic. “Hi.” 

 

“Hey,” Liam laughs. “I was wondering when you’d call. I might have been waiting.” 

 

“It’s been seventeen and a half hours, Liam,” Theo informs him, giving himself a mental facepalm, because can he sound any more like a nerd? Numbers give him assurance, calm him down, but he’s fairly certain he isn’t playing by the rules of Flirting With A Sex God 101, not that he knows any of those rules. 

 

Liam laughs again. It sounds wonderful, especially after the guy seemed so serious during their trip the previous night. “I swear to god, it’s been at least a thousand times that many.” 

 

“Nope,” Theo says, smiling, bemused by Liam’s dramatic exaggeration. 

 

“Alright, might just be me then. What are you doing, Chéri?” 

 

Theo almost thinks he might faint. First of all, what does that mean,  _ might just be me? _ Is Liam flirting with him? Second of all, what’s a non-embarrassing thing to tell Liam he’s doing? And at last, can his heart stop turning somersaults because of Liam remembering that he speaks French? 

 

“I’m… I’m going home, actually,” Theo tells him. “I was just having cake with my friend from yesterday, but she already left.” 

 

“Oh, how is she?” Liam wants to know. “Hungover?” 

 

“A little.” Theo remembers Liam not being very warm towards Malia, and he suddenly feels the urge to defend her. He just doesn’t think he can take Liam being a dick about it, because he hopes Liam isn’t. “How’s your dog?” He asks back, because the way Liam gave his beautiful dog lady head scratches is the least dickish thing he can imagine. 

 

“Oh, she’s doing fantastic,” Liam responds, “although she’s kind of restless. We’re out on a walk right now, and she keeps pulling at the leash, changing directions and sniffling everything.” 

 

“Is that not something she usually does?” Theo finds it funny somehow, the thought of Liam being pulled back and forth, left and right by an over-excited dog. 

 

“No, she’s pretty calm most of the time. I think it’s because she can tell something’s up with me.” 

 

Theo doesn’t know how to react to that. Something’s up with Liam? And why would he just say that without further elaboration? What is Theo supposed to think of it? And is he allowed to ask? What if it’s something super private? After all, they don’t really know each other.

 

It’s happening again, the same thing Theo just talked to Malia about. He can’t think of anything safe to say, doesn’t know how not to step on Liam’s toes or to put his foot in his mouth or anything, so he remains silent, pressing his eyes shut and counting the seconds, praying for Liam to say something. 

 

Seven. Eight. Nine. 

 

“So, when can I see you again?” Liam asks. 

 

Theo lets out a sigh of relief before he can process what Liam wants from him. 

 

“You want to see me again?” 

 

“I’m afraid I’ll have to,” Liam answers, confusing Theo a little, “or else my lovely Curly girl won’t ever find peace again.” It’s not until then that Theo’s nervousness allows him to recognize the sarcastic tone. 

 

“Oh, so really, we’re only doing your dog a favor, huh?” 

 

“No, Theo. Obviously, Suesy’s happiness is the most important thing here for sure. I hope we’re agreed on that.” 

 

“Agreed. One hundred percent,” Theo confirms, faking a serious tone. 

 

“Well, and in this case, what’s best for her happens to be exactly what I want. That’s called a win win situation. And I plan to make it a win win win, you’ll see. Just tell me when I can pick you up.” 

 

Theo is literally bouncing on his heels, his cheeks hot and almost hurting from the wide grin his face isn’t used to. Liam is asking him on a date. They’re talking on the phone thanks to Liam giving him his number and then calling him back, and Theo hasn’t yet fucked things up badly enough for Liam to be scared off, and it’s all really happening. 

 

“Uh, I don’t know,” Theo stutters. You really can’t expect him to make decisions. “When’s good for you?” 

 

“Well, for the sake of my poor dog, I’d say the sooner the better, Chéri. You free tonight?” 

 

_ Tonight?  _ Theo panics before his brain has come up with one of the numerous reasons it will undoubtedly find. 

 

“Come on, don’t leave my girl hanging, Theo. That’s cruel.” 

 

It’s also cruel to expect of Theo to keep breathing and talking while his heart is trying to escape his chest, but at least this time, there’s equally much positive excitement as there’s fear inside him. 

 

“Sure,” Theo forces himself to say. 

 

“Awesome.” Theo can’t believe how thrilled Liam sounds. He didn’t have the impression the guy was that interested. Was he really that oblivious to it? Or is he only getting his hopes up now, interpreting more into it that there actually is? 

 

“I’ll have some deliveries to make,” Liam says, “but I can be there at exactly seven-twenty-two, is that cool?” 

 

For the first time since the previous night, Theo feels relaxed enough to let out a bright and genuine laugh. “Seven-twenty-two? You’re weird.” 

 

“Yes,” Liam replies, “and I take pride in that. See you then, alright?” 

 

Theo manages a weak “bye” before Liam is gone and the line is dead, and then he slowly pulls his phone away from his ear and looks at it, wondering whether what just happened was real, or if maybe he’s still at the party, having hallucinations because somebody drugged him. He stares down at the phone screen, and right there in his call history he can see Liam’s name, and his number, and how long they were talking, so it must be real, and maybe that’s the best part of it. 

 

*

 

If Theo thought it was stressful to pick an outfit for the party yesterday, then he’s absolutely losing his mind while getting ready to see Liam. No outfit seems to be fitting the occasion, and when he thinks about how effortlessly perfect Liam looks, he groans in frustration. Everything Theo owns is either too casual or too formal. His nerves are bad enough, so he can’t be wearing something uncomfortable, and he also feels like a button-down shirt is too much, because he doesn’t want to come across as snotty, considering Liam’s tone when he told him that he washes dishes for a living. 

 

It’s hopeless, and at some point Theo is forced to take another shower because throwing on a couple of dozen pieces and then discarding them again has made him sweaty, and of course his hair doesn’t look as good as he dries it for the second time as it did before, and all the while he’s sure Liam just comes home from work and puts something random yet stylish on, not wasting half as many thoughts on it as Theo does. 

 

He gives up around seven, grabbing a jacket and making his way outside, figuring that his current state is as good as it’s going to get, not wanting to waste any more time and make Liam come look for him in his dorm. It’s what he’s used to, giving himself generously much time, rather waiting twenty minutes than being late, always aware of all the emergencies that could occur at any time and make him late, like slipping and falling and having to change pants again before Liam can turn up. 

 

It doesn’t happen, but it could, it always can, so Theo stands at the same spot where Liam dropped him off the night before, still ten minutes left to pass before Liam will arrive to pick him up. Being on time is good, gives him reassurance, but having nothing to do while waiting sends his thoughts racing, and once that happens, Theo has no way of stopping them. 

 

New experiences are hard for Theo. Unfamiliar situations bear such a huge potential for catastrophes. There are too many open questions, too much uncertainty. He doesn’t know what Liam has planned for the night. Where will they go, what will they do? What does Liam expect of him? Is it even a date? Or does Liam just want to hang out? What are they supposed to talk about? 

 

“I’m so fucked,” Theo whispers to himself, wrapping his arms around his own torso, pretending to be cold, when in reality, all he is in that moment is scared shitless. 

 

Granted, Liam pulls up in the food truck at exactly seven-twenty-two. Theo is silently grateful for being picked up like this, because he doesn’t have to worry about their greeting, he just gets in the car and tells Liam hi, dying a little bit on the inside while Liam happily drives off. 

 

Theo thought he was ready to see Liam again, but he’s not. He isn’t ready for the way dark nail polish draws his attention to Liam’s hands, or the artful way that light brown strands of hair stand from the guy’s head. He isn’t ready for the tattoo that peeks out from Liam’s collar or the one on his forearm. What Theo is the least ready for is the clean, thin line around Liam’s eyes, black and elegantly curved, and how it intensifies the incredible blue shining from the middle. 

 

Liam looks even better than the first time he saw him, wearing a dark sweater instead of the fancy white shirt, combined with black skinny jeans and a smile that Theo thinks must be the key to world peace. 

 

“You look good,” Liam compliments him, but if Theo looks good, then what’s the accurate word for Liam’s appearance? 

 

“Thanks, you too,” Theo mumbles, furiously blushing, feeling his cheeks heating up. 

 

“You’re adorable,” Liam whispers, looking straight ahead. It does absolutely not help Theo calm down at all.  

 

Theo counts six seconds. “Where are you taking me?” He then asks, because it’s a legitimate question, he thinks, and Liam can’t blame or mock him for wanting to know. 

 

Liam turns his head and looks at him for a moment, grinning. “That’s a surprise,” he declares, obviously unaware of how much Theo hates surprises. “Just relax and wait.” 

 

Theo is absolutely not relaxed as he waits. He thought the anxiety would be gone once he was with Liam, but it’s not, not when Liam leaves him guessing, looking stunningly beautiful as he smiles mysteriously, but Theo’s stomach is churning nonetheless, or maybe even more. 

 

“I mess up my hair,” Liam suddenly says. 

 

“Huh?” 

 

“I either mess up my hair or I scrape the color off my fingernails when I’m nervous. You bite your lip.” 

 

“Oh.” Theo knows that he tends to bite his lip, he just wasn’t aware he was doing it in that moment too. He doesn’t know what to think of Liam noticing, let alone calling him out on it. Then again, Liam didn’t just call Theo out, he also told him that he kind of does the same, which feels strange, because it’s this one little bit of personal knowledge about Liam he has now, but it’s kind of sweet, too. “Sorry. I either bite my lip or play around with my hands. Need to somehow busy myself.” 

 

As much as it hurts to be met with people’s judgment, in a twisted way, it feels almost the same to expect it and then find nothing but understanding in a person’s eyes. Theo might have one or two serious issues. 

 

“Here,” Liam says quietly, holding his hand out to Theo. 

 

Theo feels like he’s paralyzed, staring down at Liam’s soft looking palm. 

 

“You just said you need to busy your hands, right?” 

 

“I didn’t mean-” 

 

“Yeah, but we can’t have you ruining your lips instead, Theo,” Liam interrupts him, thankfully not looking Theo in his wide open eyes. 

 

It’s Theo’s first time, and although most guys his age mean something entirely different when they talk about first times, it feels no less big or meaningful as Theo opens his trembling hand and takes Liam’s, intertwining their fingers, feeling a soft and warm palm against his own and a thumb brushing over his skin. 

 

“Better?” Liam asks, simply continuing to drive as if everything is as always, their joint hands resting on the middle console. Theo wonders if Liam can feel the same sparks and electric jolts  wandering up his arm and sending shivers down his spine. 

 

“Yeah,” Theo nods, his voice barely above a whisper. He isn’t entirely convinced he has a chance to actually survive the night, when the simple act of holding Liam’s hand during the car ride already sends him into a state of utter shock. 

 

“Almost there,” Liam beams at him, squeezing his hand, and Theo knows he has to seriously pull himself together now. His life is about to change forever. 


	5. Closer to the Night Sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for believing in me. You know who you are. x

  “We’re here,” Liam declares after just a short drive, bringing the food truck to a halt in a dimly lit, narrow little alley. Theo is fairly certain that he’s never been in this part of town. He looks at the houses left and right, but there’s nothing that would give away what Liam could possibly have planned. After a moment of looking around, Theo looks at Liam, finding the other boy with a fond smile and bright blue eyes on Theo’s face. 

 

In a situation like that, Theo would avert his gaze as quickly as possible and pray for the shadows to hide the blush on his cheeks, but Liam is so unlike him in every way he’s observed so far that it makes him an exciting mystery to Theo, one that has no use for shame, apparently. 

 

“I hope you’re not afraid of heights,” Liam says. He’s clearly waiting for an answer, but Theo is busy wondering what on earth his potential fear of heights has to do with anything. He’d like to trust Liam, but he’s a little concerned, hopes that Liam doesn’t plan to make him exercise. Apparently, some people think doing sports is a nice date idea, but Theo couldn’t disagree more. There are a million less exhausting ways to make a fool out of himself in front of Liam. 

 

“Theo? It’s just this fire escape ladder here,” Liam interrupts his racing thoughts softly, “and we can take the actual front door if you want to.”

 

Theo looks at the ladder that Liam has put one hand on. He’s not the biggest fan of situations where he has to rely on his own physical strength and coordination, but he doesn’t really have any particular issues with heights and the whole installation looks pretty stable. He thinks he can do it, and then he looks at Liam, patiently waiting for Theo’s decision, casually leaned against the ladder, looking so pretty that it’s almost unfair. A lot of things can stop him, but not this one. Many things can go wrong when you try to date someone completely out of your league, but Theo won’t this one be it, not before he’s gotten to see where Liam is taking him. 

 

He shakes his head no, trying his best to sound casual as he answers, “it’s cool, I don’t mind.” 

 

Liam can probably read his thoughts, so he remains still for a moment longer and looks at Theo. He’s giving him one last chance to back out, but Theo needs to prove to himself more than to Liam that he doesn’t need it, so he gestures towards the ladder. “Lead the way,” he says. Obviously, he doesn’t want Liam to look up at him clumsily climbing the ladder from the ground. Who knows how big his ass looks from that angle. 

 

Self-consciousness doesn’t stop Liam though, so he nods and goes ahead. Theo would be enjoying the view very much, but he doesn’t really dare to take his eyes off of where his hands and feet are supposed to go. Leaving the safety of the ground behind gives him a fluttery feeling in his stomach, but it’s over sooner than expected. Liam’s hand reaches out for Theo and he realizes that he’s almost at the edge of a flat roof. 

 

Taking Liam’s hand feels like his body knows the feeling better than it should, seeing as it’s only the second time it’s happening, and Theo can only assume that this means he’s doomed, not that he hasn’t suspected this to be the case before. Getting over Liam and moving on isn’t going to be easy. It’s never been easy to be rejected, to matter how much experience Theo has gathered in almost twenty years, but Liam is going to hurt more, he just knows it. 

 

It’s not actually helping him to land on the roof on his two feet gracefully that Liam is pulling him up, but maybe the goal is more to half crash into Liam’s chest anyway. Theo has never been this close to him, has never been able to catch that much of his scent with just one inhale, practically breathing him. Liam holds onto his hand and his shoulder although it’s not necessary, searching for Theo’s eyes. Theo feels weak, and he doesn’t know how much of his state can be blamed on the rooftop he’s standing on, if any at all, or whether maybe it’s all Liam. 

 

“Hey there,” Liam whispers for no apparent reason at all.

 

“Hey,” Theo whispers back, taking his eyes off of Liam only to avoid turning bright red. He takes in their surroundings instead. Where they’re standing is just a narrow pathway from one building’s roof to another, leading around a corner that draws Theo’s attention because there’s light behind it. 

 

Liam grins and leads the way. “Welcome to my home,” he says, spinning around with his arms stretched out. Theo stops in his tracks and stares. He understands immediately why Liam calls the spot his home, although it’s a rooftop and not a very big one. There’s a wall with a door on one side, and nothing but night sky everywhere else. A construction of wooden pallets and huge pillows against the wall makes something like a couch. Various chains of colored lights give the scenery a soft glow. There’s a coffee table and little dresser, and across from the couch, at the opposite side of the roof, there’s something like a tiny kitchen unit with two shelves at either side.

 

It’s the end of summer and exactly the right kind of mild weather to spend evening outside. The place reminds Theo of his grandparents’ cabin by the river where he used to spend his holidays, except that it doesn’t look like a place that’s only used for two weeks a year. There are too many little details, too many small things someone must have carried up the stairs with a purpose and for a good reason. There’s a mini fridge and pictures on the only wall, blankets and a collection of boardgames stuffed under the table. Liam clicks a few buttons on his phone and music starts playing from two different loudspeakers. 

 

“Wow,” Theo marvels. He doesn’t know why he’s surprised by something exceptional and beautiful when it’s Liam who brought him here. “Is this where you live?” He points at the door that leads inside the building they’re standing on. 

 

“Not exactly,” Liam answers. “I share an apartment down the street with my best friend and my dog. Actually, I think it would be more accurate to say that Suesy shares it with us, but who’s gonna be fussy. Anyway, this rooftop is actually abandoned. Technically, it belongs to the apartment beneath us that Mason’s ex lives in. Unfortunately though, the guy is missing his key to this door.” 

 

For a second, Theo thinks about living in an apartment that has such a lovely spot on the roof belonging to it and losing its key. He almost feels sorry for the guy, but then he notices the grin on Liam’s face and remembers the offer to take the front door and the stairs. 

 

“So that’s how you deal with exes, huh?” He mumbles, hoping that Liam doesn’t take offense. 

 

“Not all of them,” Liam shrugs, “this one deserves it though, believe me. He doesn’t seem to appreciate the good things in his life, so I’m taking care of them for him until he’s learned his lesson.” 

 

A part of Theo can’t help but wonder what that means exactly. Is Liam taking care of Mason too? And if so, how exactly? Best friend, roommate, part time dog daddy - is that all that Mason is to Liam? 

 

“Want a beer?” Liam asks, opening the fridge and pulling two bottles out, offering one to Theo. 

 

“Thanks.” Theo takes a sip in the hopes that it helps to calm him down.

 

“What do you want on your pizza?” Liam asks. Theo doesn’t know why this question is the oddest thing about the two of them being together at Liam’s special place, alone with the stars and far above the rest of the world. Everything about Liam seems like he doesn’t belong in Theo’s world, and yet nothing about his little visit feels wrong. Sure, Theo is still his insecure self paying attention to every move he makes and every word he utters, still afraid of the impression he might make without meaning to, but there are moments when he forgets it, just for a second. 

 

Liam pulls more fresh vegetables and sauces and different kinds of cheese out of the fridge that should fit inside it, putting them on a pizza that he calls the à la Liam and promises will change Theo’s life. Making choices is a close to impossible task for Theo, but if it bothers Liam then he doesn’t let it on, and why would he? He can choose for Theo, since he seems to be, have and know everything Theo wants even before Theo starts thinking about it. 

 

Nobody’s ever taken Theo on a date. Nobody’s ever paid him a drink at a bar or invited him for dinner. Nobody’s taken him to see a movie. Nobody’s ever taken his hand just to hold it. Nobody’s ever asked him genuinely interested questions and listened to him talking the way Liam does, not interrupting but actively letting Theo know with his face that he’s processing what he’s being told. 

 

Theo has no standards to compare Liam to, so maybe he’s naïve for thinking that Liam is the most beautiful, kind and funny person in the world and that their date is the most special thing anyone’s ever done for another person. Maybe he’s stupid for falling in love. Probably. He very likely is, but it’s not like Theo can chase Liam away from where he’s gotten under his skin. 

 

As much as Theo hates to eat in front of people, with Liam sharing a pizza and speaking with his mouth full, he loses track of how many pieces he’d had. Usually, this would never happen to him. Theo knows exactly how much people have seen him shoving down his throat, always. He takes the greatest care never to eat faster than the people he’s with, and when he shares something, he always takes less than half for himself. 

 

“What do you mean, you haven’t watched Game of Thrones?” Liam all but yells at him, pizza falling apart in his hand. “Not a single episode? Oh my god, Theo! Where do you live, on the moon?” 

 

“I wanted to read the books first,” Theo answers truthfully, because once you’ve watched a tv show or movie based off a book, you can’t get the actors’ faces out of your head while reading, and he prefers making them up with his own imagination. “I bought them, but I got stuck on the second one somewhere. The chapters are really long and some characters’ perspectives just don’t interest me enough to read through thirty pages of them.” 

 

“Fair, I guess,” Liam says, “I’m not much of a reader. But I love the show they made of the story. One day, I’m going to make you watch it with me.” 

 

It sounds like Liam is simply informing him of something, like what the weather will be like the next week or when the next full moon is going to be, but the implications behind his statement are enormous. In that moment, no matter how fleeting the thought might be, Liam is speaking of a ‘one day’, one where he and Theo will be spending time together again, not just doing anything, but watching Liam’s favorite tv show. Theo knows it means something that he said it, but it’s hard to think straight with his heart on fire and butterflies multiplying in his belly. 

 

“You’ve got, let’s say, six months to finish the books, and then I will literally force you to watch it, if you’re through or not.” 

 

“Six months?” Theo asks. With the way Liam looks, he should have long forgotten Theo in six months. “Have you seen those books? They’re endless! When am I supposed to do all that reading?” 

 

“Didn’t you mention you study literature? Sounds like you’re the expert here.”

 

“I do,” Theo laughs, “and that’s exactly why I have enough books to read already. Seriously, I’ve been assigned so much reading for this semester, I might actually stop loving it.” 

 

“Really?” Liam asks. 

 

Theo quiets down and shakes his head. “No,” he says, “never.” 

 

“That’s really nice,” Liam finds, setting the plate down and unfolding a blanket. He pulls out his phone and Theo notices silently how smoothly he pulled off moving closer to him on the couch, making it look like he was leaning over to get better access to the pocket of his jeans to fish for the device, except that he didn’t move away again. 

 

Theo has to smile as Liam unlocks his phone and he sees Curly Sue doing her brightest puppy smile as Liam’s home screen before he opens the Netflix app. “So I’m curious now. What kind of stuff do  _ you _ watch?” Liam wants to know. 

 

Questions like this one are always tricky. Theo has no idea how people just casually answer them without lying. Almost everything he’s ever watched or liked has some potential to be called stupid or bad or pointless or whatever. This is about Theo’s taste, and his taste is a part of who he is, which is exactly what Theo has never learned to share with people. He digs through his memory for non embarrassing answers to give, simply because that’s what he does by instinct, always and forever. 

 

“What’s your absolute favorite?” Liam asks.

 

“You mean what’s my Game of Thrones?” 

 

“No,” Liam says, shaking his head a little. “I mean your one true love. Game of Thrones is cool and all, but it’s not what I watch in an endless loop without ever getting tired of it. You know, like this one thing that you’re not even sure why you love it, because it’s kind of silly once you start thinking about it. But it still comforts you to put it on, even if it’s just for background noise while you clean the house? The one you wouldn’t even want to show your friends, because you know its flaws better than anyone else after watching it a thousand times and you just know they wouldn’t get it?” 

 

Theo is ashamed to admit the truth, but he’s also not capable of coming up with a lie that sounds like what Liam just described, so he takes a swig to empty his beer and tells himself that at least he can jump right off the roof if this is now finally the ultimate end of the remaining bits of his dignity. 

 

“Teen Wolf,” Theo says, his voice barely above a whisper. He’s waiting for the world to end or the building beneath them to collapse or at least for Liam to burst out in laughter, but nothing happens. 

 

“Tell me all the worst things about it,” Liam smiles at him, clearly satisfied that he got an answer out of Theo. Theo loves him a little bit for posing the question like this and not the other way around, because he couldn’t describe the things he likes about his favorite tv show if his life depended on it. 

 

“Well, so first of all,” he begins, “it tells the story of teenagers who are werewolves and fight evil, so there’s that. But apart from the obvious, it has terrible lighting. You can never actually see the things you want to see, I’m telling you. The timeline is completely messed up and the queerbaiting is real.” 

 

“I see,” Liam replies, “no gays. That’s the worst.” He nudges Theo’s shoulder lightly and Theo pretty much dies on the inside. Can someone hand him a manual for flirting real quick, because that would be super helpful right now. 

 

“There are gays,” Theo mumbles, staring at his own hands and blushing, “just not enough. And those guys who have the greatest chemistry together over several seasons never end up together.” 

 

“The never ending story,” Liam sighs, sinking back into a pillow. He drapes the blanket over himself and offers the other half to Theo, apparently getting comfortable before he starts searching Netflix for what Theo is talking about. “I don’t know, Theo,” he says a few seconds later, “do you really think it’s that awful? I mean, look. He’s kinda cute for a werewolf.” 

 

“Do you want to know what’s the worst thing about this show?” Theo asks, although he could kick himself as soon as the words are out, because Liam is going to say yes, and he’s never spoken about this to anyone, nor was he intending to until just a second ago. It’s his secret, although Theo isn’t sure why he’s been to determined to keep it. 

 

“Yes,” Liam nods. 

 

Theo can’t help it. He’s a romantic falling head over heels in foolish love, and he’s so far outside in comfort zone already, squished into a pair of jeans and on top of a freaking building that he had to climb himself, sitting next to a boy he doesn’t deserve. He loves the view up into the stars, and he loves the view over town. He loves the view to his side especially, where punk rock daddy Liam is turning into cozy Liam and silently stealing his heart. He’s drunk on the feeling that’s gotten a hold of him, enhanced by the dim lights and the delicious food and the fact that Liam was trying to get to know him. 

 

He’s on a date and he’s talking and he hasn’t had to count seconds since they were still in the car. An unfamiliar kind of courage finds Theo without him looking for it. 

 

“The worst thing about it is the rabbit hole that I’ve been dragged down without meaning to,” Theo begins explaining. “I watched it for the first time two years ago. I didn’t like it. I was bored, had to fight through the earlier seasons. I didn’t get the whole werewolf thing. I would have forgotten about it and moved on if I hadn’t for some reason stuck around for the later seasons.”

 

“Oh boy, you got in deep, huh?” 

 

“I’ve published several hundreds of thousands of words of fanfiction online,” Theo says, “so yes.” 

 

“Oh, you mean like you write all the stuff the show fucked up for you? Or are we talking about the porn kind of fanfiction here? Honestly, theoretically there doesn’t really have to be a difference.” 

 

“No, I’m fixing severe mistakes committed by the writers of the show,” Theo tells him, because Liam doesn’t have to know about the rest just yet, possibly not ever. 

 

“That’s so cool,” Liam says. “Now I have to watch it so I won’t be completely clueless when you read me your stories.” 

 

“I’ll read you my stories?” 

 

“Only if you want to, of course,” Liam says, and with the smile on his face Theo doesn’t have the heart to tell him that he’d probably die from embarrassment if he had to read his writing out loud to anyone, let alone Liam. It’s not like he’s ashamed of what he’s written, not all of it, at least. It’s kind of like when you stop writing because the teacher is standing behind you and looking over your shoulder. They can see what you came up with anyway, but you still don’t want them catching you doing it. 

 

Luckily, it seems like Liam isn’t really waiting for a reply. He presses the play button and then looks at Theo and the room left between them, figuring out where to place his phone so they can both watch, deciding that he needs to scoot closer until he’s all but touching Theo, covering his lap with the blanket and making a little well in the fabric that holds the phone. 

 

It certainly has its advantages that they’re watching something Theo doesn’t have to pay attention to. This way, he can focus entirely on Liam and allow his thoughts to wander. Theo is sitting up pretty straight while Liam is slumped down into a pillow, which means he can steal an occasional glance without Liam catching him immediately. 

 

He wonders what Liam does with his hair in the morning, because it pretty much defies gravity in the way it stands from his head, but it’s short at the sides and longer at the front, and with that it still looks good, especially because it suits Liam perfectly. His skin is lighter than Theo’s. It’s perfectly clear where their hands are resting above the blanket next to each other. The beard stubble is gone and Liam’s jawline looks even more like he could cut paper with it than the day before. His lashes are dark and thick and long, but not as dark as the winged line drawn on his eyelids that makes his eyes look almost cat-like. Not for the first time, Theo wishes he could see all of the tattoo that peeks out from underneath Liam’s collar. 

 

This boy next to him is literal perfection, Theo thinks. He’s always thought that not looking like everyone else makes him look like a nobody, and maybe it does, but if so, then the same rule doesn’t apply to Liam, who looks not even remotely like anyone else Theo knows, and also not remotely like he’s trying to. 

 

There’s no need for Theo to watch the screen. He knows the events of the first couple of episodes so well, he can tell by the smile on Liam’s lips and the occasional nose exhale or a raised eyebrow which scene is on in that moment. He could spend hours like this, being close to Liam, being quiet without counting seconds. 

 

Liam laughs at the screen of his phone in the moment when he grabs Theo’s hand, almost like it’s just a reaction of his body to what he’s seeing and it could as well be an armrest that he’s holding onto, but the laugh fades without his hand moving away. Theo intertwines their fingers and then there’s a thumb softly caressing his skin, and everything is good and whole. 

 

Theo should be cringing when Liam’s laugh clearly mocks the show they’re watching, but he isn’t. He should be worried about the time, since he’s got classes in the morning and didn’t get any work done the entire day, but he isn’t. He should fear what happens once he’s left the roof, that stepping on the ground again means returning to reality, but none of that can touch him right now. Nothing can touch him except Liam and his warmth. 

 

It should make Theo suspicious, the carelessness of the moment. He should know better than to trust it. He should be thinking of all the traps he could walk right into, but he prefers sinking against a pillow and against Liam’s shoulder. He should be worried that everything was too good to be true, but he rather keeps his eyes on Liam’s face, even when Liam looks back at him. 

 

Theo should know he’s in over his heels, but he doesn’t care. Liam’s lips are right there. He’s never kissed a boy before and he’s never been dying to know what it feels like as much as he does in that moment. 

 

He isn’t counting seconds and he isn’t contemplating options. He isn’t making up a strategy in his mind and he isn’t overthinking it. It seems like he simply isn’t thinking. 

 

He just leans in, for once not caring about the worst case scenario. 

 

Of course, it happens then. 

 

The world hasn’t stopped spinning just because Theo decided to take a mental time-out. 

 

Liam pulls away. 

 

There’s no touching of lips, no first kiss. 

 

Theo opens his eyes and starts counting.  _ One. Two. Three. Four.  _

 

Liam looks at him, his eyes wide and pretty, blue like the summer sky and equally far away.  _ Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine.  _

 

If he reaches fifteen, he’ll have to leave.  _ Ten. Eleven. Twelve.  _

 

Who is he kidding? He’s already lost.  _ Thirteen.  _ Theo gets up and almost trips over the blanket. Liam only lets go of his hand because Theo pulls away, steering for the fire escape without looking back. He feels like running is a bad idea, considering that he might die if he falls, but it’s the only thing that stops the seconds from passing loudly in his mind. 

 

Theo can vaguely hear Liam calling his name after him, but there’s only one direction left to go. Down to the ground. Back home where he belongs. Taking flight. 


End file.
